Tuesday, 30 November 2010


Dont you just love it when you get home from a shit day at work and theres a parcel waiting for you ? I hooked myself up with these two pairs of front 45 fin Buick brakes. They look the nuts and I was lucky to get them. I paid the fucking bloke over 3 months ago for these babies and I think he was trying to pull a fast one on me. Weak excuses ,emails ignored you know the scene.In the end managed to trick his number out of him by pretending to be someone else ! Yea fucking great. Still got them in the end. Should be interesting getting them to fit on the back. Ive come across something special for the backing plates.Bit cut cutting and shutting. They'll look mental but wont stop for shit. But hey style costs.

An old lady was sitting with her husband when all of a sudden she parps up " You know what dear,I think my tits are hotter now than they were 30 years ago". The husband goes "You silly cow thats cos ones in your tea and the others in your fucking porridge".

Monday, 29 November 2010


"We need to get this woman to a hospital". Old Lezza checked in at the big check out today. Thanks mate for one of the funniest films of all time. Every scene a cracker.
(Mental note to myself) Must play the theme tune to POLICE SQUAD in my head for the rest of the day as a sign of respect.........Da daa da daa da daa da dad dad da da

Saturday, 27 November 2010


Check this little Salter up for grabs on Ebay right now. Im digging it big time.Love that nose cone and teardrop on the hood.This must be a right laugh.Forget about buying Christmas prezzies for the wife and kids.Get this for yourself instead,you deserve it.They dont appreciate you as much as we do.You know its true. Go get your money heres the Ebay number #280593922177 . Tell them you'll get them a Buzz lightyear next time round.

I sent my wife an email today saying " I wanted to spend the night fucking till I was red raw", but I accidently sent it to my Nan instead ! ........Now I have to drive to bloody Devon !

Monday, 22 November 2010


That reminds me ,hows my old mate TRAWLER doing ?

Saturday, 20 November 2010


Fucking computers playing up !
Right lads here you go ,Im selling my '52 PAN engine with title. Correct cam cover,complete (carb,intake and that) apart from the misplaced pistons ha ha yea great ! They can be gotten easy enough.Everything is cool with it. I might put it on ebay at some point but I thought i'd offer it to you lot first. Seens we all like the same shit and that.
If you are serious then let me know. You can be that man with this motherfucking Pan. You dig ?
I was walking through Tescos the other day when this blonde came up to me and said "youre the father of one of my children !". "Shit" i said "youre not one of those dirty whores I shagged a year ago are you ? I was doing coke of your tits while the other one jabbed me in the arse with that cucumber ". "eeer no Im your son's teacher" .


PANHEAD MOTOR get 'em while theyre hot theyre lovely.
Here we go lads im selling my '52 PAN engine with title.

Tuesday, 16 November 2010


Ive sold my Triumph so im rideless ! Some fella from the HA bought it and was well chuft.Sad to see it go......still never mind I have something else fixed in my sights. Oo I hear you say but I wont say what Im gonna do yet as I have to secure its motor first.You know how it is,if I say something then some other fucker is going to nip in an steal it.Kiss of death and that.

My girlfriend finished with me today....she says our sex life is TOO kinky ! I was so suprised I nearly choked on her piss !

Sunday, 14 November 2010


The more I look at this the more I dig it. Showing a nice bit of patina too.Always a fan of that. If you know anything about this ride let us know ? Or if its yours give yourself a pat on the back, cos we at LOS BASTARDOS love it.

The Police came to my door today holding a photograph of my Mrs. " Is this your wife ?" They asked. A little shocked I said "yes". They said "Im affraid it looks like she's been hit by a car". "Yes I know but shes great with the kids".

Saturday, 13 November 2010


You asking ? Then i motherfucking dancing.

Thursday, 11 November 2010


Magento double bill.
Check this little beauty...hey..hey. Yea this is going to give that flathead a right zap up the arse. Original Vertex with ol'school cap.Niiiice

New mate to the LOS BASTARDOS crew. Paulie from MAGNETOZOO. Hes a right geeza just like us lot. These here stickers he sent us are the nuts.Thats the best ive seen in ages. Thanks mate. Check out his blog on our recommended Bovver boys.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Tuesday, 9 November 2010


Both these rides talk to me. They say "HELL YEA". Do they talk to you ? If not then go away. Quicklie quicklie. Get the fuck out of here Scumbag.


My wife was dying and I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice "there's something I must confess". "Sssh" I said "there nothing to confess, everything's all right". "No I must die in peace. I fucked your brother, his best friend, your best friend and your father !". "I know" I whispered "That's why I poisoned you, you cunt, now close your eyes".

Monday, 8 November 2010


Yea you know it. Ive always had a thing for fluff in tube socks.Shes so fine I dont have to say shit !
The funny thing is I wearing exactly the same grundies as her.......They cut in like fuck but I look smoking.
I think its safe to say that im a VAGINATARIAN

Sunday, 7 November 2010


This has to be the coolest patch Ive ever seen. Theyre a bunch of '70s style van reoffenders. Always kitted out with a plastic sheet, a shovel and a roll of Duck tape.

Whats the problem with Ninja porn ? You never see them coming.

Friday, 5 November 2010


Right FILLER here,there are going to be a few changes on the LOS BASTARDOS blog. First off SEB no longer wishes to contribute to the blog.So I think I talk for everyone in saying thank you for your massive contribution.I would also like to stress that SEB is not responsible for any further comments made on this blog and has nothing to do with future posts or points of view .
1. This site is posted by BIKERS, RODDERS and PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. It is meant soley for BIKERS, RODDERS,PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES and other PEOPLE WHO GENERALLY DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING. So just to be clear its NOT meant for wifes,kids or the overly sensitive and easily offended individuals.
2. There will be regular amounts of swearing. As used in the real world, like on building sites, garages, workshops and pubs.Man talk. For example (bollocks ,shit ,fuck and soapy tit wank). I write as I talk a spade is a spade.
3. Offensive jokes i'd say thats a big YES. We'll pretty much laugh at anything.Often the cruder the better.Piss taking is a big part of the LOS BASTARDOS. We love to take the piss and feel free to take the piss out of us. Its only fair. We're only having a laugh so dont cry. You big fucking girl.
4. Nudity.........fuck yea, i love all that shit. We got red blood in our vains and we hope you do too. So a little FOO FOO appreciation never hurt anyone.

Right ive already had enough of writing rules.....I dont follow rules ,rules are shit. i couldnt give a fuck what THE MAN says i'll ride and drive as fast as I like, talk shit with my mates and laugh my arse off.It makes for good living.
So basically if you have a life and arent easily offended by the written word then you are more than welcome to join us. If not then PLEASE dont go on any further.SERIOUSLY this isnt meant for you.
A wise man once told me "Its all just a laugh and doesnt mean shit". Can you dig ?

Monday, 1 November 2010

it's been emotional

Well, not that emotional really. I've come to a decision that I don't really want to be involved in writing this blog any more, so Mr Filler, it's all yours, bruv.

I'd just like to say a genuine heartfelt thanks to those of you who've read the blog, left comments, or taken the time to register as followers. This sense of community is what's made it all worthwhile.

Adios mucachos- and ride safe.