Wednesday, 30 December 2009


Please excuse the gratuitous gasser shot. Whatever, today's word is FILLER 'cos the man who's such a gearhead he's even named after an automotive product is FINALLY ON THE BASTARDOS EDITORIAL TEAM! So stay tuned for hot rod tall stories, chopper mayhem and general colourful language from 'the man'. Welcome Darren, and get posting mate.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009


It's been a while since there's been much in the way of rods on los bastardos, which was never the idea. 50/50 cars 'n' bikes,as brother dazzer said, and that's how it should be. Ideally, I'd prefer to be posting some of the stuff from our guys, but in the meantime have a butchers at 'Galaxian', best of show at Mooneyes Yokohama 2008. Somewhere some kid's seen this car and it'll change him forever.

Monday, 21 December 2009

One for Trawler

brudda...noticed this tasty shovel whilst wasting time on details, but it's certainly got the look. There's definitely something about about pre-evo swingarm frames, especially when hooked up with a tyre-hugging rear 'guard. Quit dreamin' of mince pies and light ale fella, and get that SOB built, not long til battastinis now.

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Gotta love flames, right?

Yes you's another from the bastardos archives. What to say on this one? It's got the look of a Tommy Summers piece about it, and if you've heard of him, you may proceed to the top of the 'klass'. We won't talk about the fact he built Prince's bike in Purple Rain (NOOOO!), but he is one of the world's leading customisers of 70s-style Jap chops, which essentially means cb750s. Check out his site at
Want ghetto lace jobs with heatwrap zorsts and worn out bates seats? ooz axing? All the other sites have got them...only LOS BASTARDOS brings you the cutting edge of late 80s styling. We will shortly be bringing the 'fat tyre and beach bars' look back into vogue. South Coast massive, peace out me bredren.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

More British steel

More new Bonneville class from the bastardos files. I found this beauty on an Italian site, and if memory serves, it belongs to the chairman of the Italian branch of the (legendary) 59 club. Did you even know there was such a thing? Do you care? This information could be breaking into the 'complete cobblers' zone- surely not!- apologies if so.
So, what of the bike? As you might have tumbled, I'm a sucker for a pillar-box red-over-black squirt job, and this one came out long before Hinckley had it as a factory option. The stance on this caff racer totally nails it, and the combination of killer Ace bars, ally rearsets and repro peashooter-style pipes is all well in keeping with the righteous greaser style. Liking very much indeed also the seat unit, with requisite 'hump', of course. Front fender, fork gaiters, and drilled-out chaincase get the nod, too. Admittedly, not the hardest project to achieve, but that's one of the best things about it; and it's still hard to do it THIS right. All in all, ideal for a sunday blast to the seaside for chips, and that's what it's all about, right?
Roll on summer, brothers.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Something old, something new

Couple of quick ones for you...crossply goodness from Mr T's sporty choppa, and a nice new Bonneville from god-know-where. I definitely have a soft spot for the Hinckley Bonnevilles, of course they're not the real thing, but they're still kool. I love the mild bobber-influenced look on this one, just the right measure of scallops and kustom touches to add class. Sometimes less is most definitely more.

Friday, 11 December 2009


you'd have to be a right nutty geezer with a name like that, wouldn't you? and peoples, I can guarantee that Andy aka erditurdi is indeed one of them. Andy's an expat brit now livin' it up in the Oz sunshine, lucky so and so, and when he's not telling filthy jokes turns a mean spanner or two. I know him from, though I gather his own project is currently awaiting major surgery of the engne rebuild type. Let's have some pics, old mate, and to paraphrase Sonny Barger/Queen Victoria, the sun never sets on the bastardos world system.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

I candy (eye, geddit)

Dig...the rising sun brothers give us an object lesson once again. It's only a bloody evo sporty- supposedly the lamest bike you can swing a leg over- but how kool is this thing?

2010 Resolution- stop apologising for sportsters. They rock. The eejits that write for the mainstream bike press don't know an adaptable, affordable package of pure biker heaven when they see it.

I have an inkling this shot is froma previous Yokohama show- Mooneyes, perhaps? The ever-excellent Asphalt Squadron has a load of fantastic shots from this year's expo, check 'em out, the link should be at the bottom of this page.

Keep on keepin' on

That, peoples, is the level of class you can expect from los bastardos clubhouse. The defence rests.

So, another year drags to a timely end, and as Lennon said, 'it's getting better, it can't get no worse' (life or the blog, I hear you say). I've had to re-evaluate the daily status of the bastardos blog. The 'mission statement' of regular mini-project features, blow-by-blow how-tos and pictorial accounts of our ongoing projects may have to take a back seat, because quite frankly, the projects are on the back burner. That's just how it is, those of you with kids, aspirations and mortgages can all appreciate this, I'm sure. Cop out? I guess..but sell out, no freakin' way. Dazzer's merc hopefully will be bagged, my sporty given further tokyo-treatment, the triumph generally rebuilt, the plans are all well afoot, and personally I can't wait to get turning spanners, and henceforth takin' a few snaps too, and sharing 'em with you lot out there.

Pause for breath...and a new paragraph...I'm going to keep the site going with some of my favourite bike shots and stuff I like. So, check in from time to time...I'll be keeping on trying to raise the blog profile (social networking, ya see...) Hopefully Dazzer too is going to start contributing too, watch out world! The winter will be spent catching up with some of the other guys, stocking up with material, and keeping it real for 2010.

Keep on keepin' on.

Friday, 4 December 2009

Sneak peak at the clubhouse

You've seen the fridge- now check out another view of Bastardos central, aka the clubhouse, aka Dazzer's ubergarage. He's a chippy by trade and a pretty good one at that, and he's built this from the ground up. I did help with the foundations, and have painted almost 2 whole square metres...Whatever, I reckon Daz wasn't allowed any toys as a kid 'cos he's just got far too much kool stuff now he's an old bastard.
This definitely isn't the best pic, but like the title says, it's only a glimpse. Check the old school bar in the corner, and the hand-made workbench, and Summer the dog.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Story of the blues pt1

Well, I did say I'd put up some details, so for those of you with a little time on your hands...witness my '89 Sportster, all 883cc of it, after it received the treatment earlier this year. For now, let me share a few details about how she WAS; probably the cheapest running sporty in the UK, 7 previous owners and lovingly driven into by what Yanks call a 'soccer mom in a MPV' in a pub car park. On the plus side, it was kinda kool for a sporty...chain drive with a four-speed, tasty avon ditchmaster up front, and a few decent chrome bits, like Zodiac forwards, and some stainless cables. The rest was falling fast out the ugly plant... Halfords finest met red spraybomb, and deluxe rear carrier, saddlebag supports, with just about everything on the money side dinged by 'mom'. Oh yeah, and RIDICULOUS 'fatboy' type bars, you know the type that make riding a motorcycle not unlike pushing a wheelbarrow up a wet path. Add rusty stock rubbish in the areas of pipes, shocks, indicators, and a lifetime of neglect to all the ally, and you should be getting the picture. Turning that POS into what you see before took a couple of weeks, plenty of ebaying, and full abuse of bastardos privileges. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

signed up to CHOP CULT

No pictures...but just 'putting it out there', I've signed up as 'los bastardos' to this most excellent new forum. I'm kinda short on time- and really should be reading my law books now rather than writing this- but can see I'll be spending a bit of time over there. Definitely a lot of like-minded folk, and sportster is most definitely spoken there.
I was hoping to get 'los bastardos' on their featured blog list, of course (as usual) I've jumped the gun and generally got excited too quick (no sniggering at the back). They've wisely said let's see how thing go for a few I REALLY need plenty of project, road and feature shots to keep it going. Because 'los bastardos' WILL remain true to the ideal of featuring predominantly OUR bikes, cars, tats, stuff and whatever else.
Rant over! Now where's that law book...I need to sleep...

and most important, massive shout to 'one speed' who's signed up to the blog. Sir, I salute your clearly-impeccable taste.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

My first pony

Sorry, should be 'chopper'...or at least 'hardtail' if you want to get really fussy. So, this was my original dream bike, in as much as like a lot of us, I guess, I had this idea about finding a long-lost neglected beauty at the back of a shed which I'd turn into a show-winning cover bike that went like a dragster. Well, I achieved the last bit, cos it would only run for a quarter of a mile before needing something to be rebuilt.

It was originally built by a one-time HA Kent prospect called Cliff, who I knew from the ambulance service in London, and had indeed been left to fester for about 10 years. I saw it in all its rusted glory and had to have it. It took about 5 years to end up at the stage I took these pix -shortly before selling it of course- where it was approaching being a decent roadbike. Best bits were the twin mikuni setup, and a few NOS and original 1970s parts I got through the excellent I did get a lot of fun building the chop, and learnt a lot about wiring, painting, and general assembly/repair, mostly that it all takes bleedin' ages. I'd definitely like to do another, maybe a more out-and out west coast style bobber with mini tank, crossplies, better seat, mooneyes oiltank, we'll see. Hope ya like it anyhow.

Friday, 27 November 2009


You've been waiting long gives me great pleasure to preview and introduce the Bastardos interior design guide. Now you too can 'get the look' not only on your 'sickle' but on your 'gaff' too...L-A-R-G-E!
Watch and learn...'flaked-out vintage cooler-check; shinko double whitewall repro crossply-check; original Bell helmet bag-check; naff 'hawaiian iron' wallpaper DOUBLE FRICKIN' MOFO CHECK
Are we good to you lot or what? I'm off to see if I can get that old tennis poster of the bird scratching her arse...

Monday, 23 November 2009

MORE bleedin' sporties?

OK, OK, that's enough sporties for the mo...this isn't supposed to be a xl-blog after all. This is my very own pride and joy 89 4-speed evo, and is a cracker if i say so myself. Details, of course, will follow, suffice to say my neighbour had quite a hand in turning the ghastly luggage-laden lump into the skinny delight you see before you.

On another note...I've noticed the tone getting somewhat Americanised lately- this will be corrected accordingly.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

My bad

Hmmm, that sporty in the pic below has been around for a here's a fresh one from the crazy orange site. As you can see, they definitely got a formula! I guess if it works, why screw with it? Whatever, it's a great style, and I'll be putting a few other shots up from their site from time to time. I better come out- I am a sportster nut, and have been pretty much always. Seems to me the humble xl is really coming into its own at the moment. Some have even called it the 'new shovel', which is probably going a little far; what it is and always has been is a great package that looks and goes great, needs as little or as much custom work as you want, and is affordable to the working guy.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

only a stock tartster

OK- I did say it's our intention at Los Bastardos to feature only our stuff, and our friends' stuff too...but I will be making the odd exception, and this is one. It's hardly news that some of the nicest stuff on the planet is coming out of Japan, and when it comes to Sporties, Crazy Orange are the nutz. From what I've googled and stumbled across on the web, there really seems to be a 'Tokyo style' of these bikes; Bratstyle were probably the first, and among the best-known, but there's plenty of other great builders too. Personally, I love the cut 'n' shut peanut-tank look, tyre-hugging rear guard, cut-down bates-ish seat, and just enuff hotrod touches to add suitable class. Best of all, though the devil is of course in the detail (and finish, more accurately),building a bike of this ilk ain't exactly beyond the skills-or dreams- of most backyard enthusiasts.

More of Darren's Triumph

Photography 101- Ensure background is as cluttered as possible. Try to avoid contrast between subject and background. Make sure you miss out various parts; half the back end is good. Have a stella or 3, and you're done! Suffice to say, I'll be trying harder to do justice to the subject matter in future.

Nice bike though, huh?

An email with specs/history/original anecdotes would be nice Daz, I'll cut and paste it straight up on the blog so everyone (er, that'll be Trawler) can see it.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Nuff teazin' #2

Cue hackneyed 'no words necessary' type line, but when you got the holy trinity of bolt on hardtail, built trump mill and springer fork, they're not. Also dig the ruby 'flake...but don't dig the apes, risers, rear fender, engine mounts, battery box or oiltank, because they're all going in the bin soon as time etc permits. As snoop would say, dat shizzle is da chitnick mofackey. Updates on the Los Bastardos World System coming soon as the spanners start to turn.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Nuff teazin'

Title says it all..let's have some proper shots of Bastardos rides and bikes. Check out Darren's supersweet Mercury, I've been for a ride in this thing and can tell you it really is like stepping back in time. She's cherry, and pretty much unmolested by amateur 'customizers' and other such glue sniffers. Lots more detail shots in the pipeline, stay tuned.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

New look, new pix

At last, worldwide Bastardos followers, I bring you the fruit of a night's labours round the clubhouse. Finally, the son and heir of which I've dreamed...I jest of course, but at last not only have we got a few shots of Dazzer's assorted toy collection and the garage, but they're actually on my computer.
So here ya go...still working on the artistic photographic composition,but it's a start. Plenty more where these come from. Keep checking back, cos there should be more happening on the blog in the near future.
To today's pic...nice lump, huh? There is categorically no engine on this planet more pleasing to the eye than Edward Turner's seminal parallel twin. And this one, sitting as it does in Dazzer's 70s-style chopper, ain't just a looker, either. Leaks hardly a drop, sounds proper, and goes like a train. More details to follow- I won't insult you with my half-arsed guesses as to year and model it is etc.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Project time

First time I met trawler, he was on about building a shovel-engined project. I put it down to the beer talking- he was already on his second pint- but lo and behold, what should appear in my inbox than this little cracker. He even added some daydreams, sorry plans for the project...

home made attack bars
chrome shock covers and lowered rear end
leather seat without springs - (not needed)
Kicker only to save cost on electrics. brass kicker pedal
mini egg tank with spider web lace work probably back over to Blue moon Kustoms.
Keep the mag wheels with a pin stripe to the rim edge.
bobtail fender on back chopped back to about 6 inches long
front forks are staying but with the lugs and crap shaved off.
4.5 inch bates style front light.

does he get it or what? other plans include an open belt, trick carb and firestone crossplies. (bro, check out justified defiance for good prices on repro hoops, made by chengshin but still kool).

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Bastardos tweetin' it LARGE

Great news for the worldwide brotherhood of Los Bastardos followers...that's Dazzer and Trawler if yer still out there...we've now joined the twitter revolution, so everyone will be able to keep up with whatever exciting stuff we're up to. or something.

Also, apologies for recent lack of activity on the blog. More to come soon, honest guv.

Here's the twitter link

Friday, 9 October 2009

More of the ol' gal...

Another pic of the ols Honda mobile coffin-in-waiting... check out some of the details..that's the first (I think) Cycle Exchange twin mikuni carb setup in the UK (this was 2004), as used by Richard from Skullchoppers. Personally, I never got the buggers to run that well, til it was dialled-in on a dyno, at which point it went like a rocket. I'll always remember the dyno guy, somewhat taken aback at the smoking and oil-dripping thing before him, dryly saying 'Your bike appears to be on fire mate'.

Also, that's an original 1970s Santee electrics box, and a nice one-off stainless box to hold the scooter battery. It actually worked pretty well with the kicker, til a fried alternator caused one of those regular 'lost interest' periods. Those are proper Mac 4:4 drag pipes, just like they had when the only 'kit bike' you could buy was a honda, triumph or sporty.

Do I miss the old girl? Sometimes...but the Sportster's causing enough trouble to keep me occupied. Should have a nice crossply on the back to match the deathmaster, otherwise just savin' for my air cleaner, 'flake seat and Moon finned points cover.

Stay tuned for more updates as I get 'em...sunmissions always welcome, Trawler has sent me some great pics, including one of his new Shovel project, complete with planned spec sheet/wish list. What's in your shed?

Monday, 5 October 2009

Givin' the dawg a bone

(Dogbones, geddit?) Continuing the theme of dodgy 80s metal song's a sneak pic of my old Honda 750/4 chopper riser set-up. I loved that bike and it repaid me by making me poor. Sound familiar? You can see how much I enjoy polishing, and I beg your forgiveness for the rubbish red bars. More to come soon.

Uber bastardos Darren has had a mighty whinge on the comments section on the previous post. In answer to your question, yes mate, I do make most of this up as I go along.

Club news...our die-cast plques are in the pipeline- should be good. Keep your eyes peeled for 'em if yer down sarf coast way, they' ll only be on the lowest and finest rides.

Friday, 2 October 2009

runnin' free

i'm runnin' free, i'm runnin' free spoke the mighty bruce 'air raid siren' dickinson of NWOBHM (that's as in the 'new wave of brit heavy metal')heroes Iron Maiden...and here, completely unconnected, is a cracking pic of our mate trawler on his flyrite-framed sportster masterpiece. i've seen this bike close up and can tell you it rocks. it was originally built by boneshakers, who in all fairness did a fine job.the crowning glory has got to be the mindblowing blue moon customs paint on the tank, but there's so many kool details you wouldn't believe it. you'll be seeing more from trawler on los bastardos, and why not have a look at his own blog, trawler-rider.

so wot's up with the club, i hear you ask? all going well we'll be giving you a sly peep into our dark world (aka dazzer's shed), and a look at some of our cars and bikes, started with the man's 51 mercury (genuine 56k miles, can you believe that?) and his tasty 'flaked-out trumpet. there'll be no detail shots of all the ghastly billet, honest darren...

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

So, Los Bastardos have been on the Worldwide Web for the barely 4 days, and the response has been truly staggering. To no-one.
So, what's new? Not a lot...we have a slightly different look to the header page, and I'll put up yet another mindblowing pic of my radical one-of-a-kind Sportster. Just testing, ya many soundmen to change a lightbulb? one,two, one,two...

Friday, 18 September 2009

Welcome from Los Bastardos !

WOW just what the world needs...yet another blog all about choppaz, hot rods, punk rock and other regular mid-life crisis stuff.

Los Bastardos CC is pretty much starting out, just a few guys who got good taste and nice wheels, hopefully you'll all be hearing a lot more from us in the coming months.

For the moment, I'll post a few pictures of our rides, the clubhouse and anything else that might tickle your fancy. The idea is to share our ongoing projects with you, some radical, some (mine mostly) cheap 'n' not nasty. If I find something mindblowing on the web, I'll see if I can rob the pic and put it up here, but my idea is to keep the posts and pics largely focused on the club and what we're actually building, riding, painting and drivin'.

Talkin' of pics, let's see if I can get some up of my poor-boy Sportster up, it ain't the best bike in the world, but it does me jus' fine.