WHEN THE PRICE IS JUST TOO MUCH !!!

Now Ive heard about "paying in kind" but this is getting ridiculous.

TUDOR PORN

I have a raging hard on for Tudors at the moment.They are like the regular mans Model A porn.Prices have gone through the roof on A's recently.I mean forget about '32s theyre just mental money.Im talking early A's,Roadsters,3's have always been pricie and are now out of reach for a poor begging man like myself.But now 5's and pick ups are going up and up.Tudors are also going up fast with donor cars costing a pretty penny.But to me Tudors have always been my favorite.You get that stance right and youre on to a winner.Theyre pure class.

I mean check this one out looooovely.I think this could be a new feature "Rides that make me want to reoffend".

Now pass me those tissues.

One for Big Ern #3

Here's a real blast from the past, and one of my favourite cars from the early 80s UK drag racing period. Glacier Grenade I always remember cos it was fast as fuck, and ran classic brit power in the shape of a blown 2.5 litre Daimler hemi V8. I always liked this one as it seemed like a bit of a British twist on the American standard of big inch motors. Also, I seem to remember in 'Custom Car' and 'Street Machine' (remember that one?!) it was quite common to see the Daimler lump powering a Pop or similar piece of Brit tin. Once again, thanks to the UK Drag Racing Hall of Fame for the (unsolicited) use of this pic, check them out for more accurate info on racers from this great time.

Old news

This is kinda an experiment, which kinda hasn't worked. I wanted to post up some of Brat Style's great work- sadly, the pics on their site are tiny, and I doubt any trickery will fix 'em, and anyway, I can't be arsed. So have a squint at this, was a SR400 (Yam, I think) given the standard treatment of lowered seat rails, short shox, small tank and narrow/high 'bars, that the Brats from Japan have kind of 'trademarked'. I reckon it's a great style (dictated, I believe, by strict construction and use regs the Jap guys have to put up with), that shows what you can do with a cheap late-model streetbike.

Great shot from the Filler files

Dazzer sent me some wicked stuff he found while looking for a new title shot for the blog; how about this one? God only knows when and where it was taken, or who those bad muthas are, whatever, if they're out there somewhere or out of jail, respect is due.

TRAWLER

Hey bro, thought we'd make ya even more famous- hope ya don't mind, but run out of good pix for our title and dazzer is sick of looking at the old ones.

Salty Bucket

Im sure I could make up some sick joke to that title but I think this time i'll give it a miss.Hey GUY check this little beauty.Man that must be a right laugh booting that about.Im giving this fella full respect.He even has the token straw hat.Living the dream.

Guy you better get your finger out HAYRIDE is what late July or early August.Just think this could be you.Except yours is a Doctors coupe and the nearest salt is in the kitchen cupboard.But you know what Im saying.Everyone will be a winner.

Hall of fame- Dazzer

LADEEZ AND GENNELMEN....i present to you the original motorpsycho, gearhead deluxe, hot rod fiend, ex- UK skatepunk trailblazer, Darren.

there wouldn't be los bastardos without daz. he is the glue that binds the brotherhood. preach on, brother D.

daz nearly wiped out on a GSXR and was narrowly saved by his brain bucket. to this day he refuses to wear any lid but a biltwell, which won't save yer bonce from walking into a cobweb. that, folks, is the level of purity he demands from every bastardos club member.



he ain't just a handsome devil, neither. he's a dab hand on the tools, and can turn his hand to wood, metal, paint, you name it. santa claus got 'im a airbrush, so get ready for some flake mayhem from the man.

i also gotta say he pretty much built my sporty, and stopped my pathetic attempts to run fenders, indicators etc, with his characteristic call of 'shut it, gay boy'.


sadly however, there are downsides to living in the same street. his barbeques pen and ink, god only knows what flesh he burns on that fucker. i also had to see him when he set off for the hayride a coupla years ago, he'd obviously spent a while doing his barnet, he looked like the king kurt tourbus crashed into the silvikrin factory.

oh yeh, he's got a slightly-worrying obsession with collecting SS memorabilia. I'm sure it's a genuine interest in historical matters, of course.

bikes? cars? try a 49 mercury, bonneville with bolt-on hardtail, over the last year or so he's run a 45 HD, ford shoebox (flathead powered, natch), finned-out buick...

whatever, like i said, dazzer is the man, proper bastardos mofo to his very bones.

3# Gorgeous Gary

aka Double G

Our token pretty boy

Surfer/rider/lover/Man in pants

Well well what can I say Double G is a man amongst men.When he fell out the pretty tree as a kid and he hit the first branch straight in the face WHAM.

Would you Adam and Eve this man is a bloody model ? If you go into a top ARMANI outlet you will be confronted by Double G in only his cacks !!!! Most of the time they call the rossers on him.I think he's getting some kind of ASBO to stop him doing it.I mean I like the fella I do but I dont know what makes him do it.Frankly its embarrassing, there are kids and old people about.Oh and will you please stop waving at me !

But on a serious note.............thats pretty much the gospal truth.

Old Double G is a proper big time member of LOS BASTARDOS a all guns blazing supporter.He has his fingers in many pies,Triumphs and old school veebubs.

His Trumpet is soon to be a finished project .So here comes much smoking of tyres and grinning of teeth.Photos later .

Check him out hes got his hammer what more does he want ? Well he might want to give it back to BIG ERN otherwise you might hurt yourself.

Like I said Double G is a man amongst men.You cut him open and he bleeds BASTARDOS.

I just wish he'd keep his bloody clothes on !

To you Double G much love.

P.S All you girls hes happy married (Hello Kyla) so your luck is out.Eddie the fish on the other hand is single so its like I said before "Your luck is out".

#2 BIG ERN

Our token Tin man/Painter

GUYS BIG BROTHER !!!!

Surfer/talented metal bender and layer of paint/Big Ern is one of the original members of the Whirlybirds '60s tv show and too this day is still a helicopter paramedic.If you wreak your ride he can patch you up and sort out any scuffed paint ! What a star.

Big Ern is one of those blokes who will go out of his way to help you out.He genuinely gets off on shit getting done.....hes a doer and thats the back bone to many a group of losers just like our much loved BASTARDOS.

Erns own project at the moment when hes not helping Guy is a '59 Impala.now this is being done to a very high spec and hopefully we'll hook you up with some photos soon.

Wow look at him go with that hammer...tap tap.....getting things done. AMAZING !

BIG ERN all round good guy.Quick put him in the LOS BASTARDOS hall of fame.Legend #2

LOS BASTARDOS BROTHERHOOD #1

Ok Ok every now and then I'll try and put some faces to the LOS BASTARDOS special needs cases .

I must warn you that you really dont want to actually know any of these reprobates and if you see any of them then cross the road.Its too late for me but you still have a chance of having a normal life.I remember a time before I met any of them...........lets call this time "The good old days".

But really my life is alot more colourful place with these characters in it.They are a top lot of lads...........only joking I cant stand any of them.

Right lets get the worst one over and done with.

GUY : aka THE MESSIAH, our token mentalist

Surf legend/old school junkie/owner of House of Bonzer surf boards/lover of man !

This bloke has the biggest personality of any of the BASTARDOS.He can open doors and have them slammed in your face at the same time its simply amazing.Infact simply/simple covers him pretty well i'd say.

His current project is a 1927 unchopped Model T Doctors coupe.He's come along with this beauty with the help of Big Ern .We'll do a more detailed bit on this build later.

He reckons he'll have it on the road for this years Hayride.But then again he reckons a lot of stuff.

Out of all the LOS BASTARDOS builds this is the one which I have been looking forward too the most.

From an old tub sat in his garden to an old tub sat in Ern garage it doesnt get much better than this.Theres been ALOT of sweat gone into this and the lads have done us proud.Not chopping it is the stroke of pure genius......someone else must have thought of that for him.

On a serious note Guy is a much loved member of LOS BASTARDOS and it wouldnt be the same without him.

How high's the bar?

By which I mean, just how good does a show bike have to be? I guess that's always been the issue. In my humble opinion, this effort from the most excellent 'one low' of Japan gives a pretty good idea. Not one ounce of flab on this baby,just how a chopper should be. Check out the finish and attention to detail, build quality is off the scale. Jap stuff just rules. However, looking at that back rim, does anyone else think that 'skinny' might just be getting a bit too much these days? Kinda like fat-tyred bikes did, a few years back? Fads come and go, class remains. But you gotta love 'one low', and I'll be bringing you more of their stuff right here.

Ern #2

I was amazed to see that Al O'Connor is still racing this machine today, now I believe in the Outlaw Anglia class-figures, right? Back in the day, I seem to remember this famous machine used to run in Competition Altered, along with many other memorable dragsters, all of which made a major impression on this impressionable youth! Just the archetypal Brit hot rod on the clasic Brit dragstrip, well Northampton ain't California, neither's Bournemouth but screw it, you gotta work with what you got. I do apologize if I've got my facts wrong about these earlier drag racing teams, I was a keen spectator at the Pod in the late 70s/early 80s, and thought it would be good to bring some of these pics to the bastardos blog.

One for Big Ern

Who remembers the legendary Stones and their outrageous 'Stardust' Funny car from the 1980s? They were heroes to this 11 year old (at the time) and probably many more like me. Thanks to the British Drag Racers Hall of Fame from whom I have half-inched this cracking shot. AA/FC racing in the UK was pretty much the Santa Pod cars (Cannonball, I think, and maybe another), Showtime from the states, and assorted Swedish types (nothing changes). So Stardust was kind of an outsider, a family crew up against the big guns. Legends.

Theres something bad in the air !

Man I think this could well be my favorite rod in the country.

I mean check that pill box window.Its like the devil just drove into town.The only thing missing is a dead hooker in the passenger seat.After all you dont want to talk to yourself on that long drive back to hell !

It's comedy week on Los Bastardos

I can't even work up the enthusiasm to be sarcastic about this one. I really hope this is just a case of Photoshop nonsense doing the rounds on the net. I got this pic off the mutha-in-law who lives in Canada (Hi Wendy), and it looks like it might actually be real- I mean, I don't wanna get all negative, and different strokes an' all, but jeez, this thing is just G-H-A-S-T-L-Y innit? Apparently the builder wanted to combine the best of tri chevy, '59 malibu (go Ern!) and sumfin else I can't be arsed to remember. Looks like a plate of cold sick to me, but there you go. Thoughts? And yes, we do need to bring you some PROPER HOT RODS!

LEGEND

This man rules. Even filler has respect for this guy. I know I do. Did I say say he rules? Go your own way, my brother. Just one headlite ain't enuff for this outlaw mofo, ya gotta have 3 and just check those double smokestack lightenings. Smokin' HOT! Gotta love the mile-high club sissy bar, taildragger fenders (man i love that look) and ace yellow-on-purple flameout. sick paint rules. Be strong, be wrong, and fuck them and their law! I wish he was in los bastardos.

OH BOLLOCKS !

Had a go at the first plaque casting session today ! BLOODY DISASTERIOUS.
Back to the drawing board.The molds collapsed.
Then to add a kick in the nuts the brake pipe burst on the Mercury. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Still next time it will rock.

The best bikes, denim and tattoos $$$ can buy?

No freakin' question! Dice magazine just rules. And their bomb design looks kool as fuck, so I reckon it needs to be identified with the global corporate 'los bastardos' brand, product placement an' all, you see. Filler's got this sticker on his van. What a twonk, he should of course have given it to me to fly loud and proud on me brain bucket.

Can't leave well alone

Hmmm, could see this rear fender and seat set-up on mine. I'm thinking struts not shocks, too. And a side mounted '59 caddy tail-lite. Get the seat in 'flake,one of them nice justified ones. I'll probably leave alone for this year, but I'm tempted, cos the seat REALLY lets it down (the bike not my arse).

no more, honest

i fucking LOVE avon (teflon) ditchmasters, don't you? They should abandon all that R&D nonsense, stop making radial tyres and give us what we want. Skinny rubber that makes a motorcycle handle like a tesco trolley but looks like sex on legs. ok, they ain't that bad. I had a 20 yr old pair on the old honda, and commuting on that deathtrap was an experience, I can tell you. I lived West and worked the East End, and that meant a lot of deathwish London drivers trying to do me GBH with intent. In the wet, it was kind of like being on a hovercraft, in that you felt completely disengaged from the surface below you. All good fun, and my experience with the one in the pic on my current sporty is a whole lot better. Maybe cos there's a radial on the back, tho' we got a crossply waiting to go on that fucker. More tidying up on that front end too, need to shave those fork lowers...keep da faith.