CHOPPER ROYALTY IN DA HOUSE

ok, now we all recovered from the fact that no-one died in the los bastardos foundry incident, i can get us back to business as usual. kutty noteboom (bet there was no-one called that in your class at skool!)is a member of the world-famous sinners car and bike club, and these are a couple of his machines. kutty's dad was a noted builder back in the day, and he's been a skater for years, but he can turn spanners with the best of 'em, that's for sure.

he's got a blog, and a website, hippykiller.com, both of which are well worth a butcher's hook.

'the creeper' is a personal favourite of mine. the fucka just oozes quality, and generally has more klass than any evo sporty rightly deserves to. the stance is just so, and get that finish, just amazing. 'sinner's prayer' is the other, based on a shovel motor in a rigid frame. i believe it's kutty's personal ride, and is 'not for sale' according to his site.

you've probably seen these before, but if not, enjoy. more inspiration for the club project sporty (mine that it). anyone got a oil tank?

FUCK YEAAAA

About bloody time we're finally making progress with this fucking plaque lark ! I tried to do the first one in brass (bit ambitious for a first timer but a new believer Rowan told me how to patina it and im a sucker for patina)but after bloody HOURS I couldnt get it up to the right heat.It was glowing like my mud tunnel after a curry but I just couldnt get it to melt.Some bits would but others no.So we went back to the old trusty ali.So after more booze and fire I was up to my ball bags in molten metal.Excellent. I never knew that molten metal could be such a laugh.Ive been down with the old setting shit on fire game since I was a nipper.But this has loads of new possiblitys.

Anyway after what seems like a life time setting up the mould we finally got round to pouring Judas's silver into the first LOS BASTARDOS plaque.Man that stuff takes like forever to cool down.So we've just cracked open the mould and here is what come out.

We're well pleased with it for a proper first attempt.The pic is in its raw state still covered in sand.The back ground is still to be painted.

Now whats the chances it drops off the back of the car as im driving along !

WHEELS DAY FRIDAY GET YOUR SHIT SORTED.We'll be in the Mercury so come say hello.

First rounds on Trawler.

i got the full SP on the CCD

fine tubework, huh? this here is the work of CCD, aka custom cycle developments, based up in the wilds of Norfolk where families are close and cousins are many. it's a stock sportster front loop with their own weld-on hardtail section. £300 is the price they quote, which is roughly what i reckon i could ebay the bits i don't need off the sportster. can you see where we're going with this one?

i've been looking at few options, with cost as ever being primary factor. top of the pile is a flyrite frame- but outta my range right now. other choices are weld on sections by the likes of ledsled customs, or kansas city, all of which are affordable and by all accounts well-made bits of kit. they are however, on the wrong side of a large sea. which ain't really a problem, but all things considered, getting me or my frame to CCD is a whole lot easier.

so, in the meantime, i'll be quietly hoarding bits n bobs. oil tank, ribbed fender, model A/59 cad tail lite are on the list, everything else should be home made (seat, brackets, etc). that west-coast ride will be mine, oh yes. fire up the 'flake gun, brother ern. ok, maybe not for a year or so!

edit- i just seen the welding one of our other neighbours (another filler contact, there is NO-ONE this fucka doesn't talk to) does..he is bloody good...plans could be changing...

the ern files #2

frenzy- vauxhall firenza body, geddit- was a car i really thought had a geat look, back in the day. domestic cars used as racecar bodies is kind of a matter of personal taste- as ever, if it's done well, i think you can get away with it. 'Pro-street' is definitely NOT a style in keeping with the bastardos ethos, but real dragsters get a 'double mong thumb' every time.

you jusy gotta love that enderle, or hilborn, style fuel injection set-up: i'm thickening up just to think of it.

having owned a 'piss yella' mk 111 cortina, i dig the colour too.

the big ern files

DON'T KNOWBODY SAY 'WHO THE FUCKS THAT?'

Big Daddy. not roth. the main man.

one one of his legendary trips to the UK.

respect is due.

crazy man crazy

more crazy orange goodness...here's just a little taster for ya. i have a feeling that's a real sidevalve 45 tank cut and shut you see there- which could be considered something of a waste of vintage parts,but i'm keeping schtum- but still a great little bike.
check the turn signals mounted low on the frame downtube; evidence of what crap the jap guys have to put up with.

and another for big ern...

for anyone who used to visit the pod back in the 80s, let's face it, a run by 'slammin sammy miller' had to be the high point. this guy ruled. i think he only raced in the UK because the NHRA and IHRA in the states outlawed rocket dragsters- it's kind of good to think he found a home here.
he was a nice guy too- i remember getting his autograph one time, and he had a chat with my dad. proper gentleman (both of them!)
as to that car, 'vanishing point' would usually run the 1/4 in a shade over 4 secs...fastest i ever saw was about 3.8 as i recall. it's a very over-used term, but that friends, really was 'awesome'.

one fer dazzer

here ya go, bro...a little 'sweet inspiration'. this here's a d'agostini original 51 merc. got nuthin' on a bastardos ride, but worth a look whateva.

that snake trawler...

...is also an afficianado of the most excellent 'crazy orange mc' of japan. i know cos he's half-inched some pix off their site too. here's a taste of what our whale-munching friends are up to. i sure wish my sporty looked like this one. hard to believe that's a stock framed motorcycle, innit? and a humble evo at that, too. this one gets added props thanks to a chain drive set up, mind-blowin' 2:2 zorst, trademark diamond-stitch single saddle, loony rear fender (if it can indeed be called one), skinny front (looks like a holy 21'' er to me), and nutty narrowed apes. that bare metal finish looks so righteous it'd be a shame to lay some paint on it. yeah, even i'd dig on some raw fish for that.

fear not bastardos amigos, i got plenty more where this came from. enjoy.

sportster thursday

yet another ghetto-style hero from bastardos. lovin' the simple stuff as ever. struts, whitewall crossply goodness, nice paint, bars, cutdown fenders with sparto, and yer done. that chopped up cam cover look may well be appearing on my pride and joy, sometime soon. has he 'frisco'd' that tank? it sure sits well, whateva. nuffink wrong with a green bike, tho' i am superstitious about these things. thanks to 'greenlight' from chopcult for the pic.

filler's trying to get me to hardatil my sporty. in time, bro, it will be done, i'm gonna start collecting bits and bobs fairly soon, then it'll be done in a flash of spanners, primer and 'the hammer'. right now, i got enough to do just trying to keep life n soul (and the blog) up together.

them straws...

last ones that is-and clutchin' at them...hardly, cos here's a further slice of tudor goodness from the filler files (ie whatever he's tea-leafed off the net somewhere). it's another beauty, what else do you wanna know? you gotta love how the back tyre sits almost up by the screen level (swage line is the technical term, correct me if wrong, mr big ern), what a view as yer rollin' down the road, unfendered crossply spinning right in yer field of vision. 3 two's always work, too, and that patina just rocks. quit dreaming filler, ebay more conservatories and then we take the littledown!

dazzer wanted me to use this for the title shot, sorry but that ridiculous-but-kool gasser thing is going no-where! anyone got a scooby doo what the fucka is? it's got something of 55-56 buick about it, albeit gone horribly wrong...anyone in the know, do tell.

back to the 'swage line'-kinda reminds me how London car drivers would freak when i pulled alongside 'em on the hardtail, last thing they expect is a biker sitting at their level, eye to eye. especially with a soggy rollie attached to me gob and bad teeth- hell yeah! that's how we bastardos roll.

Needs must so it's gotta go

That's just how it goes...my beloved collection of just about the finest assortment of ska punk, east coast hardcore, skater rock, new metal speed metal death metal , you name it , has had to go on the bay. overdraft is chokin' me man...at least it's all on iTunes, it's hardly the same though, looking at that little thumbnail compared to a slice of vinyl or even a CD.

the vinyl i got's even better, bad brains minor threat, all the gear from the day...but that's gonna have to go too.

i'm kinda clutching at straws to post something, the mrs reliably informs me that if i don't post nuffin, no-one's gonna check the blog,.

like steve stocker says, what does 1.99 get you these days?!

Our 'cheapskate' friends across the pond

Check out this kool shot of eli from Cheapskate cycles. His blog's on our follow list on the right. It's well worth a look- regular guys fixing kool choppas on a tight budget. This shot was taken from a Cycle Source magazine shoot (I think, we don't get that title in the UK), and I for one am diggin' that unbraked skinny front hoop, gold 'flake, and quad cam sportster goodness. From the look of the flames, i'm half expecting to see filler bursting out with a bodged 'los bastardos' club plaque and a 3rd degree burn or 10.

On a different note...things may be quiet on the blogging front for a while. Dazzer's just had a kid, and i have imminent exams, so we gonna be lying low for a while. But, as ever, any submissions and emails are always welcome, please contribute anything you might like to see on the blog, sebo_brown@hotmail.com, or just drop a line to say hello. i will be checking in periodically and trying to keep a bit of activity going.

A big 'hello' too and thanks to anyone who's taken the trouble to subscribe, and read our lunatic ramblings.

EBAY GEM

Check this little beauty out.It went on U.S Ebay the other night with get this a buy it now price of 8 U.K large ! Thats right 8 fucking grand .It amazes me that these little gems still come up every now and then.Although this is becoming rarer as prices are rocketing over there.

But this little baby came up late at night and was gone in the morning.Who ever made it did a cracking job,the frame was stretched and fully detailed the cab was rat and funky as hell and a mental Caddy powerhouse and the back was on airbags.Man if I had the money I would have bitten his arm off.So some lucky fucker get themselfs a treat.

There only one thing bad about buying someone elses rod and thats that you never had the satisfaction of the build yourself.Shit I have some creative juices gurgling in my pants that I need to let out.As soon as some money turns up then Im letting rip.

Essential BASTARDOS viewing material

ok it probably ain't that cool - so what's new, you all say - but it's my duty as bastardos blog rep to point you all in the direction of the most excellent 'sons of anarchy' tv show. The yanks are onto their 3rd series, it's only just started over here. Think sopranos, but with a patch club not a mafia family. How realistic? Difficult to say unles you've flown colours yourself, but it looks about as convincing as you're gonna get in this life. Say no more...except it definitely ranks higher than eastenders and x factor, which poor old big ern's family inflict on him regularly.

Mother's day

Even bastardos have mothas...whatever, here's a slice of metalflake mayhem for your entertainment. Just shows how it's all in the prep and application; these lines ain't the most artistic you'll ever see, but the job looks killa on account of how well it's been done. Does that make sense? Check out how smart a humble old jap chop can look too- even quite convincing for a west coast style ride. Food for thought. GS550 is my best guess, but I do know this is another from Boneshaker 's emporium.

CONGRATS DARREN & GINA

In the words of Dazzer via text, LOS BASTARDOS just got a new member...bouncing baby girl born yesterday. Let's just hope she takes after her mum not her dad.

Well done all, it's only 6 months of sleepless nights then they start teething. Enjoy!

WHEELS DAY HOORAY !

Bloody hell WHEELS DAY is nearly here.This is a LOS BASTARDOS MUST.Every year for god knows how long we've made this pilgrimage to Aldershot.No matter what the weather snow to sunburn this show is one not to be missed.Its bloody great and always has a MASSIVE turn out.After all not only is it the first show of the year but its one of the best.If you havent been before you must be mental.Go have a long hard chat with yourself in the mirror and go get cured.

Highway Chile

move over rover...an' let jimi take over...(that's the lyric from 'crosstown traffic' before you think i'm getting gay on yer).

How about this for a dose of flower power? james marshall hendricks on a real deal panhead choppa.

legend has it there used to be an ambulanceman in north west london known as 'starkiller'. not only was he the twat who let jimi lie flat on his back (and thus try breathing his own solid shout, which didn't work out too good), he also did for the geezer off 'alf wiedersein pet' who od'd 20 or so years later.

Somethin' different

Thought I'd share some more of my Hinckley Triumph perversions with you all. I mean, of course they don't hold a candle to the 'real' classics from the Meriden factory, but I still kinda like 'em. Especially when they've had this treatment from the garlic-munching surrender monkeys across the channel at Mecatwin. Have a butchers anyway.

On a different note, thank fuck winter's nearly over. Though as I write, it's -3 outside. it's gonna be a good summer, and the bastardos party crew are on it. be putting some tax on the sporty soon and getting some bugs in the teeth, it seems an awful long time since last season.

#5 EDD THE FISH

Surfer/sex offender/retard

Well I dont even know where to start with this fucker ! I guess every club has their special needs case and EDD THE FISH is ours.Ive known this man for so long ive forgotten that cursed day I met him.The story goes that he was found in a wheelie bin the regects of some unneccessery goverment experiment that went horribly wrong.To this day he still smells of that bin.Odour Ed.

Now it wouldnt be fair to say that this man is trouble.....but lets face it that exactly what he is TROUBLE(in big fuck off flashing neon lights).Theres nothing he likes more than a bit of the old rough and tumble.Hes the only bloke I know who can fight 2 blokes at once and still hold a conversation.A couple of years ago some fucker hit Edd round the back off the head with an iron bar and he spent sometime in hospital having some metal fab work done.Soon after getting out he went on a date with some bit of fluff.Where you might ask .... Nice meal ? Clubbing ? Back to his place for (Fucking hell thats a mental image I dont want in my head).Wheres the best place to take out a lovely young lady ? Why a gypsy bare knuckle fight of course.What a gent.When they asked the crowd if anyone fancied a go.Old Ed obviously wanting to impress the lady said "Oi over here".First bout went in Edd's favour and he was feeling pretty chuffed with himself.Edds foreplay seemed to be working.So they sent in the second fella.He said he didnt even know what day of the week it was.But to be honest he probably didnt know before hand.Classic

As for projects Edd's had some real bad luck recently some c**ts broke into his lock up and basically stole his life.What they left he's had to sell to get himself set back up for work.These people really dont know how much damage they have done and I wouldnt like to be in your shoes if he ever finds out who you are.This was going to be a top year for Edd but hes back to the drawing board.Never mind Edd we'll get you back in the saddle some how.I would say "youre always welcome in my car" but ive got an image to think about.

Ok heres the gay bit.

EDD THE FISH i dont think that there is a member of LOS BASTARDOS who doesnt consider you one of their best friends.I know I do.We always have a laugh when youre about.....mostly at you expence because youre such a twat and that.But we do piss our pants when youre here.Edd youre always there for your mates.So we all had a chat and we think that you would be happier in another club !

RIDE ON MONKEY MAN RIDE ON.

P.S I dont know anyone with more experiance of crabs than our mate EDD.

EDD youre a star. X

NO WHEELS ON MY WAGON

I desided to dust off the old Mercury and take it for a spin today.

Didnt go quite to plan.The brake pipe burst leaving me with nothing but the handbrake.Wow that makes you straighten up real quick when your foot hits the floor and theres nothing there.I think I actually had a bit of shit come out.